We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
