Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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