she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
In America we eat man semen.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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