I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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