I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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