it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
