Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
