mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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