Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
