dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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