these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just invented taco cereal.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
