Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize