is your mom at the bar?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
