Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
