Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
