Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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