Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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