he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
