Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
