Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
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I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Couch. On fire.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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