My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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