I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
