Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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