What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
