Sry I called you an 8
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
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He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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