I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
