I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you had me at cake vodka
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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