thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
cat food counts as protein by the way
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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