I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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