The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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