I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
