Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My room smells like vodka and shame
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
