i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
