Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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