You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
