Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
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