On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love