He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
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I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.