my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered