wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN