this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?