So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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