Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
