I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
