I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
