Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
