So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
