How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
