You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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