THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
