we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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