Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
well you can't waste a boner
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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