I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize