If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
