She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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