well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
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is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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