these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love having hate sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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