You made me cry and you don't even care
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
