yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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