He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
