Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
