We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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